Mutual of Omaha!

Yes, I live in the city, but you'd think that I live out on the freakin' prairie! GOOOODmornin' Mr. Skunk! He blasted my dog right in the kisser at about 8:15a- what the hell- I thought that they sleep in the day time?! Even Worse- my client (a Yorkie) got it too- thankfully not as badly as Sunny. The little stink ball slips past me and proceeds to run upstairs and hide under my bed- I could just die! After throwing a couple of slippers at him (I had no choice, he was in the middle of the bed and I couldn't reach him), he came out from under the bed enough where I could nab him.

So, I call my husbear (his name is Steve but everyone calls him Bear or the Bear) to come home for back-up; fortunately his office is 10 minutes from home. It's now 8:20 and G has to get to school at 9 AND P is still sleeping and I knew that she is going to wake at any given moment with all of the commotion.

Sunny is outside rolling in the grass, dirt, mulch and even up and down the length of the fence- JUST to be sure that he smears ALL of that lovely Eau d' Pepe over the entire yard. I have to say, the worst part is that my dog is not exactly the most amicable patient- in all honesty, he's the A-Hole of the animal kingdom, the Hannibal Kujo Lechter of the dog world. Naturally, I need to use a muzzle, or as I like to call it: Silence of the Head (one of his many nicknames is Headla)....fortunately, the Bear gets home just in time to take G to school, and then wash ole schtink-face.

There is one thing you need to know about my dog Sunny, and that in his past life he was a Theatre Star! Max! The lights! REALLY, his personality is the equivalent of an aging theatre queen where you can just see him reminiscing the days of yore....."...I was a star, damn it, a star I say! They all adored me!"... and then the lamenting... "....now I'm just a has-been, all washed-up, if they only had an ounce of the talent I hold in the tip of my tail, they would be lucky!"....I know it's all absurd, but if you know Sunny, you would understand what a bitch he is. There is also his Jesus phase- but I'll get in to that some other time.

MAN! would I love to live trap the skunk(s) some how, and take them to Berni Stone's office and just let 'em loose! It has been almost 4 years of nothing but schtinky-schtank- we're talking putrid-eye-watering-spit-on-the-ground-gag-o-rama, with a side of the horking-gag sound....I didn't want to kill these vermin before- but now it's war!

EZ